Why Rog is relationship proud

These Show Notes are a ChatGPT summary of the episode transcript (with brief additional editing)

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Navigating the complex world of relationships can be challenging, but imagine having a compass to guide you. This compass isn’t a tangible object but a mindset called being “Relationship Proud.” In a departure from their usual discussions, co-hosts Kim and Rog introduce us to this enlightening perspective on relationships in their latest podcast episode.

In the spotlight is Rog’s concept of being “relationship proud,” a perspective that deeply impacted Kim. Rog brings this concept to life with a personal anecdote. He shares a story of a BBQ event, a tough choice between adhering to more self-centred social norms and standing by a commitment he made – a commitment to be home on time for his family. By choosing to honour his commitment, he perfectly echoed the essence of being “relationship proud.”

Rog delves into the essence of “relationship proud” as an intrinsic aspect of his identity. Rog approaches daily life with the guiding principle that each action taken serves as a step either closer to or farther from the individual he aspires to become. In navigating situations, he introspectively assesses whether a particular course of action aligns him more closely with his goals as a dedicated husband and father.

Kim, intrigued, dives deeper, drawing parallels between the principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Rog’s concept. It all boils down to the idea that our actions and decisions should reflect our core identity. In the same vein, Rog views relationships as achievements to be proud of, just as one might take pride in a well-maintained home e.g. being “house proud”. But Kim suggests there may be some potential pitfalls of pride, highlighting how it can sometimes be associated with ego.

Rog clarifies, drawing a line between evidence-based, confident pride, like that of renowned athletes such as Usain Bolt, and the kind of unwarranted, hollow pride that lacks substance. For him, being “relationship proud” is a deliberate choice, a way of life where relationships are made central rather than being treated as a mere subplot.

But it’s not all smooth sailing. Kim and Rog touch upon the societal expectations and judgments that can sometimes come in the way of this relationship-centred approach. Societal expectations can pose a hurdle, making embracing a relationship-proud stance a courageous act of defiance against deep-rooted norms. Yet, Kim believes in the power of conscious decisions, of choices that might go against popular belief but align with one’s true values.

Rog acknowledges the challenges some might face in adopting this stance, especially if they’re navigating rocky patches in their relationships. But the duo finds hope in envisioning the future. Drawing from Ben Hardy’s “Be Your Future Self Now,” they underline the significance of aligning today’s choices with the identity one envisions for the future.

In essence, embracing the “relationship proud” mindset is about empowerment, valuing one’s relationship, challenging societal dictates, and making decisions in alignment with our true identity and values.