How To Feel Less Time Stressed

These Show Notes are a ChatGPT summary of the episode transcript (with brief additional editing)

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In this podcast episode, Roger and Kim explore the complex topic of managing time effectively in relationships – a concept that is central to the balance of modern life. Here, the hosts, unwrap their ideas about time, productivity, and relationships.

The cultural perception of time is the first topic on the table. Kim points out that being busy has become a status symbol in our society. People are revered for their packed schedules, leading to a misguided assumption that a crammed schedule equals a successful life. Rog and Kim next tackle the subject of perceived identity. They highlight how individuals cultivate a sense of self-worth from their ceaseless activities. Rog interprets this that this need to be constantly occupied may stem from the desire to build an identity.

Kim and Rog then delve into the implications of constant busyness on mindset. They reason that being perpetually engaged can disrupt a person’s ability to gain perspective, be present, and stay mindful. Such a state can blind us to our personal goals and even trigger addiction to achievement and stress-induced alertness. A modern life offers myriad options, which, ironically, can engender a fear of missing out (FOMO) and a feeling of scarcity. The hosts argue that this can fuel an insatiable desire to do more, leading to either burnout or underachievement due to unrealistic expectations.

In a critique of the productivity industry, Kim and Rog pinpoint the industry’s focus on squeezing more into less time. They argue that this contributes to the perception of being time poor and can amplify the problem if it leads to the compulsion to be continuously productive. Interestingly, they seek to debunk the popular belief that we work more today than we did in the past. They clarify that work weeks have, in fact, gotten shorter. However, the feeling of perpetual work is likely due to our constant connectivity, courtesy of modern technology.

Throughout the hosts consistently emphasize the importance of mindset in managing time effectively. They caution against seeking shortcuts and advocate for addressing the root cause of time management issues. Instead of trying to master everything, they suggest focusing on mastering one thing at a time, thus promoting a more balanced, focused approach to life and work.

Expanding on this idea, they explore the concept of time in relation to human life and relationships. They point out that time is an equalizer – it’s finite, and everyone has the same amount and discuss the common tendency of favouring quantity over quality in time management.

Kim and Rog also examine the effect of time perception on relationships. Feeling time-poor can create overwhelm, emotional shutdown, stress, tension, and disconnection in relationships. This can often lead to an adversarial approach, where partners compete for time. The hosts believe much more is gained by adopting a team mentality and combining time, for example, by working towards a common goal.

In the final segment of the podcast, Kim and Rog propose three main strategies for finding more time in relationships: Alignment, Decisiveness, and Purposeful action.

Alignment encourages partners to sync their goals and resources. Decisiveness involves conscious decision-making, where saying “yes” to one thing means saying “no” to another. And Purposeful action emphasizes progress towards common goals, providing a tangible marker of time well spent.

Closing the discussion, Kim prompts listeners to question societal norms around busyness, while Rog underscores the importance of quality over quantity in time management. Together, they stress the importance of alignment with your partner, decisiveness in decision-making, and marking time through shared achievements.