How Kids Change Your Relationship Part 2

These Show Notes are a ChatGPT summary of the episode transcript (with brief additional editing)

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In Part 2 of the Living the Team Life with Kim and Rog podcast the hosts continue their deep dive into how children impact relationships. Kim and Rog unravel the complexities of parenthood and its effects on couples, exploring key topics like differing parenting styles, the unequal distribution of labour, changes in intimacy, and the societal pressures that come with parenting.

As the episodes kicks of the team highlight how differing parenting styles, rooted in individual family of origin norms and cultural upbringings, can lead to conflicts. We emphasize the importance of establishing your own set of family values and guidelines to mitigate potential disagreements, providing examples on contentious topics such as ‘sleep training’ and ‘self-soothing’ methods.

They also unpack the shift in parenting concerns in first world nations, from survival to developmental issues, due to improved healthcare and reduced infant mortality rates. This privileged position allows for more focus on a child’s development but can also lead to disagreements between partners on how they see the child should be raised.

Next, the hosts delve into the thorny issue of the unequal distribution of labour. They examine how imbalances in childcare and household chores can create tension in relationships, largely due to the societal devaluation of housework and childcare. The couple share personal experiences and offer practical tips that helped them, such as leaving a small list of tasks for the partner leaving for work, which helps distribute chores and strengthen the feeling of being seen, heard, and supported.

Further into the episode, Kim and Rog explore how the birth of a child can affect physical intimacy. Kim sheds light on how hormonal changes, exhaustion, and sensory overload can impact a woman’s libido, while Rog discusses the often-misunderstood emotional foreplay necessary for fostering a sexual connection post-birth.

Kim and Rog discuss how having a child can significantly reduce spontaneous activities and fun between couples. But rather than focusing on the negatives, they encourage listeners to use these challenges as a starting point for mental shifts, even if they can’t always facilitate physical changes.

Addressing societal pressure, we discuss the expectations and pressures society puts on parents, encouraging listeners to understand that everyone’s parenting journey is unique. They delve into the financial stress that comes with raising children, comparing it to launching a startup, and remind listeners that the rewards of parenting far outweigh the financial sacrifices made.

Throughout the conversation, the hosts underscore the importance of empathy, understanding, and open communication when navigating the transformative journey of parenthood. They discuss the risk of couples growing apart instead of together, especially if they aren’t having deep conversations about their identities and aspirations amidst the pressures of child-rearing.

They offer strategies to support healthier relationships during the challenging years of raising young children. Key discussion points include viewing your relationship as its own entity, nurturing and caring for it, regularly checking on its health and progress, and viewing your relationship as a team to foster trust and safety.

Kim and Rog close by emphasizing the importance of empathy and compassion in a relationship, especially during challenging times like child-rearing. Understanding each other’s struggles and experiences can help reduce friction and build a stronger connection.

Remember, these strategies are not meant to fix all issues but to provide some relief and make small yet impactful shifts in the relationship.