5 strategies to help you thrive (not just survive) over school holidays

The official commencement of school holidays was 3 pm Friday. However, for some families, the bless-ed flu season brought that beginning date forward. In our case, by a full week.

The disruption school holidays pose creates challenges that ripple throughout the household. The routines built and accustomed to over the previous term are suddenly upended, creating a free-for-all for resources and attention.

While the effects are felt by all families with school age children, each family experiences this strain in their own unique way.

We run our business from home – and while this provides us with the advantage of flexibility – it is counterbalanced by the struggle to accomplish any “deep work”.

For other families – someone must stay home from their job for at least part of the break period – disrupting workflow and other commitments.

Additionally, prior to the holidays, weeks’ worth of activities need to be organized, babysitters and entertainment arranged, all of which take time to plan and manage, often causing a battle for already strained resources within the relationship.

And it’s not just us adults who are disrupted by holidays. For kids, the abrupt change in routine is also jarring. Dr. Vanessa Lapointe, psychologist, explains the theory behind this “Maintaining predictability and structure is crucial for children’s well-being. The predictability helps children to feel safe and secure, which aids in their development and helps them cope with stress.”

At school, children benefit from companionship, a consistent timetable, engaging activities and a teacher’s full-time guidance. At home, they morph into free-range chickens — mostly free to follow their happy whims but often left running in somewhat wild circles whilst chasing one another.

Coping with these disruptions while balancing work, household chores and the happiness of our kids is stressful and can cause significant strain on a relationship.

So we’ve detailed five strategies below that you can employ together, to help you not only survive, but thrive during the school holidays:

1. Prioritize Each Other

Amid the holiday chaos, it’s easy to overlook your relationship with your partner.

Renowned relationship psychologist Dr. John Gottman emphasises the importance of ‘turning towards’ each other during stressful periods.

When stress levels are high due to disrupted routines and additional responsibilities, ‘turning towards’ each other could be as simple as taking a few minutes at the end of the day to ask your partner how they’re coping, share your own feelings and, gaining insight on how you can support each other better.

These daily check-ins can help you both to feel more understood whilst appreciating you aren’t in this alone. The relationship (the Team) then becomes an anchor that can help to stabilise the household when everything is out of routine.

2. Plan Ahead

People often meticulously plan their overseas trips to ensure holiday success, so why should planning for a school holiday period at home be any different?

The key to successful planning starts with identifying your family’s priorities and outcomes. Ask yourselves, what do you hope to achieve by the end of the school holidays? Is it to foster more family bonding time, ensure that the kids have ample social interaction with friends and extended family, or simply aim to maintain manageable stress levels?

Once you’ve defined your objectives, work together to outline a day-to-day strategy and ensure a fair division of responsibilities.

Trust us, planning isn’t restrictive, it’s freedom. It grants peace of mind, allowing you to focus on enjoyment rather than logistics, confident that everyone understands their roles and that you have things is under control.

For example, we understand that during this period, our work productivity will dip so we focus more on administrative tasks and less strategic work during the holidays.

By establishing holiday specific schedules and routines, we create structure and predictability for both us and our little one.

3. Learn from Past Experiences

Take a moment to revisit the last school holidays. What strategies proved successful? What pitfalls did you encounter? This reflection can shed light possible challenges you will face again. You can then brainstorm ideas to help you to proactively navigate through foreseeable issues.

In our household, our daughter is usually tired and low on energy the first few days after school finishes. She’s been going non-stop for ten weeks after all. We’ve found that she prefers to chill out during this time, maybe go to a playground in the morning and then spend the rest of the day relaxing and playing with her toys and us at home.

However, by the second week, she’s ready for more. The downtime that she enjoyed the first few days no longer keeps her entertained. She craves constant activities and stimulation. Keeping this in mind, we make sure our holiday plans account for this shift in energy and interest.

4. Focus on What Really Matters to You

It’s easy to succumb to FOMO during the school holidays, but don’t let envy of others’ holiday experiences put pressure on your own experience.

Holidays are not a competition.

In our case, we’ll be spending the holidays right here in Perth. Changes in environment can be stressful for our daughter, and consequently, for us as well. Although the snapshots of our friends’ holidays in Bali, Europe, or Mount Buller looks amazing we understand that for us school holidays are about quality time together and maintaining a low-stress environment.

5. Self-Compassion

There’s no doubt, when kids are involved in the equation things will go awry and your patience will be put to the test.

But don’t beat yourself up.

You know there is a parent just like you, maybe even one on your street, having a similar struggle at the exact same moment.

Remember to show yourself care and compassion just like you would a close friend.

Being kind to yourself during school holidays may just be the secret ingredient to a better outcome for everyone.

Head to your fave podcast app and tune into the latest episode of Living the Team Life to hear relationship conversations by real people, for real people.