3 Quick Hacks to Stop an Argument in Its Tracks

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You know those arguments that start small but somehow blow up into something much bigger than they needed to be? Kim and Rog have been there too—and in this episode, they’re sharing three super practical hacks that can help you hit pause, reset the tone, and stop an argument before it causes real damage.

Right off the top, Kim shares a story from just the other night: she and Rog had a little argument in bed. Rog said something, Kim overreacted, and they both went to sleep annoyed (yep, even though you’re “not supposed to”). The next morning, everything was going through the motions—making toast, pouring coffee—but there was tension in the air. They hadn’t cleared the emotional runway, and it was lingering.

That’s when Kim used one of their safe words: “Gunter.” And just like that, the atmosphere shifted. It didn’t solve the argument, but it stopped the spiral. That little moment made them realize: more couples need tools like this—ways to interrupt the emotional chaos and get things back on track.

Why Arguments Spiral

Rog breaks it down: when we feel stressed, threatened, or hurt, we enter fight, flight, or freeze mode. This is our body’s way of protecting us—but it shuts down the rational part of our brain. Instead of addressing the real issue, we go on the attack, shut down, or pretend nothing’s wrong. This emotional flooding makes it impossible to have a productive conversation. Kim adds that once you’re in that state, you’re no longer having a debate—you’re locked into a me-versus-you argument, and that’s where things can really get damaging.

They talk about the signs that you’ve crossed that line:

• You’re being sarcastic or mean
• You’re repeating yourself or going in circles
• You’re bringing up unrelated stuff
• You feel emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed

And the longer you stay in that state, the more likely it is that real emotional harm gets done—things are said that are hard to take back, and trust gets chipped away.

Here Are the 3 Hacks:

1. The Undo Button

Ever said something and instantly wished you could take it back? The Undo Button is exactly that. Kim and Rog encourage you to hit pause mid-argument and say something like:

“Wait—sorry. That came out wrong. Let me try again.”

This small interruption can break the momentum of a fight, lower the emotional temperature, and create space for repair.

It takes vulnerability to admit you’ve said something hurtful—but doing so shows emotional maturity. It builds trust. It tells your partner: “I still care about you, even when we’re fighting.” And no, using the undo button doesn’t mean the issue goes away—there’s still a conversation to be had. But now, you’ve shifted into a better place to actually have it.

2. The Safe Word Reset

This is the one they used in the toast-and-coffee standoff: Gunter. (Named after the chaotic but loveable character from F1’s Drive to Survive.) Having a funny or personal safe word allows either person to call a reset. It works best when it’s light-hearted and chosen together in a moment of connection.

A safe word can help you both acknowledge, “This isn’t getting us anywhere,” without placing blame. It cuts through the tension, signals a mutual truce, and gives you equal power to exit the fight without feeling like you’re “giving in.” It’s especially handy when you’ve both lost sight of what you were even arguing about.

3. Change the Environment

Sometimes, the best way to shift a fight is to literally shift your location. Kim and Rog swear by the mid-argument walk. Yes—right in the heat of it. Even the act of grabbing shoes and stepping outside starts to calm your nervous system.

Other suggestions? Grab a coffee. Move to a new room. Go sit side by side instead of facing off across the kitchen bench.

Movement helps lower cortisol and increase oxytocin (the connection chemical). And something as simple as being side-by-side changes the dynamic from confrontation to collaboration.

…And Remember

These hacks aren’t about avoiding hard conversations or shutting your partner down. They’re about hitting pause on the spiral so that you can repair from a more grounded place. Kim and Rog are clear: the goal isn’t zero conflict—it’s healthy conflict. The best couples argue. The difference is, they know how to repair—and they know when a fight has “run its race.”